Dating In Middle Age

 

ONLINE DATING IN MIDDLE AGE (NOT THE MIDDLE AGES)

(part 1)

When I decided to join the online dating world, within a month Covid began to spread and the world shut down. Including, of course, going out on dates.

I was ready to start dating again a few years after my split with my husband of 20 years. Our family had just gone through some additional trauma, and I needed a way to steer my mind away from it, so I joined a few dating sites, primarily for entertainment. Even now, two years after that, I am a lot more jaded but still thoroughly entertained. I’ll admit to occasional loneliness. I’d like to meet someone to go out with occasionally and even have a monogamous relationship, but never marriage again. I’m pretty current with trends and ways of living (thanks to my teenagers), but I’m not yet convinced that online dating is where I might meet someone I’d want to have a future with. As a GenXer I’m still a little dubious about meeting a mate online, but at the same time I figured I’d try it out.

I recently read in The New York Times that traditional dating might be making a comeback – that is, for long enduring relationships the best way to meet someone is through friends and family, mostly because the prospective date has already been vetted. And sex with this person should be put off so that the emotions associated with a physical relationship don’t get mixed in with the basic characteristics of someone’s personality. One can think more straight without adding sex to the mix.

These are the tales, absolute true stories, of my adventures in the dating world at 56 years old. As the saying goes, I can’t make this stuff up. When I began this discovery process, I didn’t make a big deal of it except to tell a few close friends. I wanted to shield my teenage sons from any more drama in their lives; their dad had quickly moved on to another relationship, and I wasn’t sure it was the best way to handle things post-divorce. I didn’t want them to worry about me or feel as if my concentration in their lives had shifted. There’s plenty of time for me, later, when they have left home. Now, I do occasionally show them photos of my online “recommendations” but don’t go into details about the dates I’ve been on. My boys have enjoyed laughing at some of my “matches” as much as I have and have given me unprompted advice about various dating sites. They advised me not to use Tinder “because those guys just want sex, Mom” and that Bumble puts women in the driver’s seat, so they advised me to try that one. I started out paying for several sites and after six months (during Covid) I stopped paying, and still don’t pay. By not paying, I mostly meet “bottom feeders” – the leftovers that also don’t pay. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll meet someone like me. Even when I was paying, the recommendations weren’t much different than the suggestions I get doing it for free.

The scammers are all over, and usually easy to spot. Their profiles all have similarities. They claim to be “marine engineers” or “oil engineers” or even “gemologists”. They grew up in another country, which is their excuse for poor grammar; they want to go to What’s App soon after the initial conversations; they have photos that look professionally done (usually lifted from Facebook). Usually they are “widowers” and will often say they are happy to move to wherever you are. They usually cannot name specific places in the town in which they claim to be living (often “on vacation” from the oil rigs). Once a guy started talking about his poor sick son in our second conversation. They are all about ultimately the same thing: money. When I know they are scammers I like to lead them on, kind of screw with them as they are screwing with me, like a cat teasing a mouse; then I report them. One guy was from “Copenhagen” but staying in Lynchburg, Va. He didn’t know that I went to college in Lynchburg, so I started to quiz him a little about the city and he got evasive. Leading him on, I told him I had a relative in Lynchburg – could he drop off some money to her? Then he was gone. Another guy claimed to be an oil engineer in India; I questioned whether there are oil engineers in India? He disappeared.

This guy has the typical good looks and professional looking photo, but notice his cultural mistake: if he’s looking for his “Romeo” he’s checked some wrong boxes.

All the dating sites require a long questionnaire about your likes, what you’re looking for, your background, etc. and you are sent, according to some WACKY statistics, recommendations of the people that might fit your interests. This is where it gets funny. Before I ever saw anyone I’d want to go out with in real life, I had to wade through the muck, as I still do.

Maybe some guy will read this and see what NOT to do, and if that helps him in his search, great. These are my tips on what to avoid, generally speaking, in order to meet a special someone. I realize there are a lot of exceptions to these rules, but this is my consensus. 

*THESE PHOTOS ARE ACTUAL “MATCHES” FROM VARIOUS DATING SITES; I have marked through some facial elements to protect their privacy.*

First off, Guys, the fish pictures have to go. I don’t care how big a fish you caught – it could be Jaws – I would still not be impressed. Immediate swipe left. What are you really trying to say with showing those photos? I am amazed how many men strike this pose.

Similarly, trucks and motorcycles also do nothing to impress. In fact, I would say the opposite – the bigger his truck or cycle the more I want to tell him sorry about the size of his man parts. NOT IMPRESSED!!!!

Another tip: take the damn sunglasses off! Why cover up your eyes? It’s okay with one photo but not all 4 or 5 pictures. Would YOU like to talk to a woman who kept her sunglasses on all the time?  What are you trying to hide? I immediately swipe left if I can’t see your eyes.

                                                                                 No comment on the Samurai costume

Not sure what to say about these two – these aren’t sunglasses, but the point is the same. This was during Covid, but this is taking it a little far.

We don’t need to see the gym pics either. Especially when you’re sweaty.  I don’t care how much weight you can lift; what have you READ lately?

More simple advice: LEARN HOW TO TAKE A SELFIE. You should NOT stand and point your camera to the mirror to take the photo. Some of the photos show the guy’s face completely covered by the camera! Either get someone to take the photo of you or hold your arm out to take the picture while the camera setting is on reverse! This is called a selfie. And another thing:  why oh why are so many of the photos taken in the bathroom, usually with toilet and toilet paper in full view??! FIGURE IT OUT!!  By the way, editing photos is really simple – your pictures shouldn’t be upside down or stretched. Our friend Google can show you what to do.

  
                                                                                      don't look too closely at the toilet

This guy is a repeat offender: bathroom, sunglasses, mirror

Next, don’t appear in a group picture without making it clear which one you are. I’ll see groups of guys, often fathers and sons, and wonder who I’m supposed to be looking at. The son is kind of cute; is he available?

Men, everybody has a smart phone now. If you don’t take a good photo, take another. There’s no reason to post a blurry photo. AND if it’s blurry and looks old, post something up to date! I went out with someone who looked nothing like the photo he posted, which was about 15 years old. I didn’t recognize him when we met – I took some new photos and insisted he post them (more on him later). Further, we really aren’t interested in your baby pictures, or how good you used to look in college.

   

                                                   Was Charles Manson released from prison?

  

 Another banned photo -- don't post the ones that look like you're in bed. If your photo is enticing, let us imagine that scenario. These photos do nothing to promote you.

   

 And now a few random pictures. Distracting background! I’m too worried about the tornado approaching to really check him out.

I'm from a small town. These are too reminiscent of people I grew up with. That is a subjective opinion I realize, but I'm pretty sure the large majority of women would agree that these two are a swipe left.

  

This one scares me.  Really, would this attract someone? Overcompensating, perhaps. What is he thinking?

This guy just makes me feel like crying. How could he possibly have time to date?

I’ll admit that I’m pretty picky. But this guy! Will he ever meet someone with all of these requirements?

I can’t write this without including some of the written messages I’ve gotten:

                

 

    

Does this guy really need a date (or a nurse)?  I love the fact that he’s a Sikh.      

Siamese twins?

You know those television commercials where, at the end you have no idea what they’re trying to sell? These are various cover photos – have no idea what these people are trying to represent about themselves.

   This one should say, "Do you want to be part of my harem?"

                                                                                                                 

     Isn’t this Eddie van Halen?

These “matches” are all suggestions from the dating websites. On one site, they offer matches with “things you both like”. Here’s one I’ve gotten: “You and so and so have two things in common: penguins and vacations.” What??

This one deserves a caption. Who is this woman? Check out his sunglasses also…This one wins the Top Prize for crazy. 

In general, guys, think about the photo you are offering up! Remember, most of the people viewing your profile are trying to get an impression of you. They have never seen you before. Smile! Don’t look like you’re asleep, stoned, or angry.

                                                                Meth addicts?

                                                                  

  
Instead of "laid back, easy going", I would say "serial killer"

Why are they so angry?

Are these guys in costumes? Is he supposed to be Daniel Boone? And what is up with the King Arthur cosplay?

These final images I can only label WTF – what in the world were these guys thinking?

And last but not least...

 I had to reject a LOT of other photos! In my next post, I will go into some stories about guys I've actually been out with.

Happy Dating!!

We Have A Giving Tree

"To be without trees would, in the most literal way, to be without our roots."

Richard Mabey

 

This morning my 12-year-old son said, "This tree has been through a lot."

 It sits centered directly in front of our house next to the street. Likely it sat 50 or more years before we moved here.

We moved in when our boys were 3 and 4. At that age they couldn't be in the yard by themselves, especially not near the tree next to the street, so they were near me when they played out front.  We soon put a horse-shaped tire swing around one of the branches. We spent hours pushing these boys on the swing, while we met new neighbors walking by, and we talked with friends who paused as they saw us by the tree. Before we knew it, the boys had learned about traffic and staying out of the road, and I could watch them swing each other and try to climb the tree, while I sat on the nearby front porch. Time flew, and at the same time it felt like the days creeped very slowly. Soon enough my boys had friends swinging and climbing with them as they played without my supervision. I could be inside getting dinner or doing laundry, looking out the windows every few minutes to see if they were okay. Or I could just listen to their boy sounds to know whether I was needed outside.

There is a remnant of an image rubber stamped on the bark of the tree, after they grew bored playing with paper and stamps on the sidewalk. Later, they painted the swing a turquoise blue with leftovers from a can I had used to paint some furniture, and of course, this paint got all over the bark of the tree. 

For several years its leaves provided a welcome canopy over lemonade stands my two set up on hot summer days.  As our children continued to grow they didn't use the tire swing as much, but lots of other children paused there on the way to and from the neighborhood swimming pool, across the street. By ages 8 or 9 our boys would stand on top of the tire and swing standing up. 

They received many pocket knives over the years to do things that boys do, and naturally the tree was one of their first carving experiments. You can see their initials all over the smooth patchwork bark, some of the letters large and others sort of scabbed over.

At 9 and 10 they sat in the tree while we trained our golden retriever puppy to stay inside the borders of our yard.

It drops its leaves early -- mid August -- to remind us that summer is coming to an end, and that more time has elapsed. Some days we looked for noisy woodpeckers, and for the owl who hooted to us at night. We watched for the hawks that planned their attacks on the chickens next door. In winter the tree stands tall and dignified as snow piles up on its branches.  I tried several times to plant pretty perennials in reds and pinks around the trunk,. but this spring I see only a few scraggly blossoms.  Most got stomped on by the many children climbing and swinging while waiting for a turn to kick the soccer ball; the flowers were advertised as “hardy” but that designation was surely not meant for us.

I wonder if the tree watched, as I did from an upstairs window, for one of these many young visitors to complete a jump on their skateboards in the street. Ours hasn't been the best climbing tree, like the magnolia on the other side of the road, because it doesn't have a lot of low branches, but it certainly gave many the challenge. Miraculously, no broken bones occurred by any activities around the tree, though I fully expected this to happen, as part of their childhood experience. 

 As I sit in the office upstairs the big window looks right out at the tree and it is brightly lit with morning sun, as it is most days of the year.

Our boys are now almost 13 and 14 and as always, life continues to change. The “Sold” sign sits out front and we are moving on to new lives, each of us. I have felt bittersweet about this place and for a time thought this was my "forever home". I have loved being here, but many of the memories are also of sadness and frustration and disappointment, and it's easier for me to let go than to dwell on what cannot be. My feelings aside, I realize that this house will loom very large in the memories of my boys, since they spent most of their childhoods here. This house will mark a “Before” and “After”. As they look back, probably for the rest of their lives, this tree will occupy a lot of space in those memories, and hopefully be happy ones. 

Thank you, Giving Tree. 

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY...

"A dream does not become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work."

--Colin Powell

I just reread this blog from the very beginning in 2009.  I've never been a consistent "blogger" although I love to write. I've always felt like this platform is too narcissistic, like a lot of social media.  I follow a few blogs myself, and I can understand that people really are interested in the process and the thinking behind the pieces (in making art). So, I've tried to do that here. I try to describe my artwork, process, and inspiration.  The first year I started the blog I had 24 entries, then I went to 8 entries the next year; after that I followed with 9, 8, 3 posts, then 0 in 2018 and this is my second entry of 2020. And I've been isolating for 5 months now, with time on my hands. What's that about?

I've talked about this to so many fellow artists -- I JUST WANT TO MAKE STUFF!!!! But to survive financially as an artist, we have to do as much marketing and self-exposure work as we do creating new art pieces. So, to do that I maintain this blog (sometimes), a website, a Facebook page. I post on Instagram and Pinterest...and I'm sure another version of these sites is right around the corner, that I will need to add to the list.  I refuse to tweet as I see that as totally narcissistic.) I'm trying not to worry about being irregular in my blog posts; I don't need to add any more pressure to my life. The writing does, however, help me to see the big picture, which is not a quality of mine -- I usually can't see the forest for the trees.

As I write, we are in the middle of the Age of Corona (will it one day be referred to casually, like when we mention the Ice Age?). I am isolating and wondering how to pay my bills, like so many others. Fortunately, one of my smartest business strategies is to have "multiple income streams". I have money coming to me from teaching, selling in shops and galleries, commissions, online sales. Of course, this money is greatly reduced as everything business related has slowed (except Amazon and Lowe's). Sometimes, I curse this passion of mine to create things, this insistence that I spend my time working with my hands and brain partnering as one. It's so often a double-edged sword: I work so hard for so little money it often doesn't seem worth the time; however, I get frustrated and depressed when I can't paint. An artist friend and I discussed this dilemma last week, laughing at all the jobs we've done over the years in order to support our creative careers.

From the time I graduated college to the present, I have tried to be open to opportunity. I often say yes either to make money to support my art career, or as a way to educate myself and further the career. Sometimes I wonder, "Why am I doing this?" and "How did I get here?", but I know that chance -- meeting someone or being offered an interesting job -- can be found in places that you least expect. Here are some of the jobs I've done over the years to support my art:

--I worked for The Gap for one day, and when I wore Guess jeans I was told things weren't working out (I didn't want to be a Greeter anyway!)
--I worked for a Focus Group company and picked up meals for clients in charge of the opinion groups (once got a speeding ticket because I wanted to make sure the food stayed hot in transit)
--I've minded countless shops 
--I worked for a catering company (and learned to cook!)
--I did Displays for several department stores
--I waitressed for a barbeque joint
--I was an admin assistant for an insurance company, and had similar temp jobs
--I repainted posts at a golf course (18 holes) with the County government symbols
--I have painted houses (walls in houses)
--I had a stint doing drawings for an interior designer
--I organized a little artist show in a hair salon
--I worked with a landscaper
--I have participated in various focus groups on games, diapers, snacks, and appliances
--I taught 10th grade English in summer school (covering Hamlet)

I suppose I can't say it's been a dull life...

SAVE THE CREATURES

The little furry buggers are just deep, deep wells you throw all your emotions into.

Bruce Schimmel

---

I'm a big believer in "the way we spend our days is the way we spend our lives." It drives me absolutely batty when someone says they like to do something and in all the years I've known them I've only seen them do it once or twice. Oh , IN YOUR HEAD you like to do this or that.
"I love to garden"
"Reading books is a favorite activity"
"I'm a photographer"
There always seems to be an excuse why they aren't doing it AT THIS TIME. 
"My work is crazy"
"I'm too busy with kids"
"My life is just so busy right now"

 Years ago, people began to drop out of my Book Club when they started having kids -- "I don't have time to read anymore,"  REALLY? How can that be?

You don't have time to do photography? Is it because you're on Facebook 2 hours a day? hmmm.

Enough ranting. You get my point. Animals have always been MY priority. That's why I love to paint them. No I don't regularly volunteer at an animal shelter, because I want to spend every second I can with my kids. Do I have a hundred animals at home? I wish, but it isn't practical for me (at this time). But do I do benefit walks to raise money? Yes. Do I give a ton of money to help out? No, I don't have a ton of money (or even half a ton). But I do my part as best I can.

The best thing I can do is to share my gifts. So I donate artwork whenever I can. Every month to someone. Here are the animal places I've donated prints, paintings, and cards to over the last few years: Richmond Animal League, SPCA, National Mill Dog Rescue, Fetch, Colorado Beagle Rescue, Help Alf (giraffe rescue), Global Conservation Force, Fetch A Cure, Palm Oil Action Team Rhino, Rabbit Wrangle, etc etc. [Other causes: schools, child abuse, art education, church, my neighborhood, Hospice, Alzheimer's Association,etc etc] . I'm not trying to brag or anything here, don't get me wrong, I'm just saying it's important to walk the walk. (Maybe you tell I've been around too many bull shitters lately).

I would take care of every animal in the world if I could. In fact, I often prefer their company to humans. So I paint animals. I try to show what I see in them. I consider one of the best experiences of my life growing up with a Golden Retriever from the time I was 5 until I was 21. So lucky. I am so grateful for my dog now, who makes me laugh every day, has listened to all of my moaning and groaning, has lain in bed with me hour after hour when I'm sick, licks my tears when I'm sad. I am not exaggerating when I say that HIS unconditional love gave me enough courage to leave a bad situation a few years ago to improve my life.

SO....all that being said, I HAVE to do something for the poor animals in Australia. I cannot listen to the radio or watch anything on TV where I see them suffering. This week I painted, as quickly as I could, a Koala Mama and her baby, and another piece of a Silly Kangaroo. I've had them scanned to make prints as well. 40% of all of the proceeds from the originals and the prints will go to Australian animal rescue groups. I did a little bit of research, and here is who I intend to send money to. Please send money independent of me if you can. These animals have no reason to suffer in any way, and to find that some of these fires were set on purpose makes me sort of sick to my stomach.

Please help if you can:
www.koalahospital.org.au/shop/donation

wildlifewarriors.org.au

wildlifevictoria.org.au

WORLD WILDLIFE FUND: donate.wwf.org.au

WIRES (NSW Wildlife Information, Rescue and Education Service Inc. ) wires.org.au/blog/emergency-donations-to-help-wildlife

rspcansw.org.au

gofundme.com/f/mallacoota-wildlife-shelter-fire-relief-fund

I paint in order not to cry.

--Paul Klee

I love to work in series, to choose a subject and see how far I can go with it. Change it, work with it, experiment. This year I have felt pulled to flowers, more than in the past. I love the gardens at the eldercare facility where I work and I walk through them every day I'm there-- smelling, taking pictures, looking at colors, watching transformations. I walk my dog twice a day and observe the changes in nature I see along our paths. A chance opportunity landed in my lap early in 2019 and I have begun a Botanical Illustration certification program. Spring arrived. I feel this strong pull from several directions and am following this instinct.

On April 1 I started a new series, "100 Flowers in 100 Days", similar to my painting-a-day habit of a few years ago. I've relished it and am definitely not done with these paintings. Ideally I would have hit the 100th painting on July 9, but life, work, summer, vacation got in the way and I didn't make my deadline. The beauty of being your own boss and sole employee is that it doesn't matter if I break the rules. So I've continued along past the deadline and working on commissions and other projects that have come about. 

I started out with a "chaos theory" technique with crazy underpainting and then working out flowers and arrangements with the negative space. Other paintings I added paper to. Some paintings were inspired by photos. I have used really bright colors and enjoyed florescent paint. I wondered if my sight was going as I couldn't seem to go bright enough, like when you keep adding more spice to foods when the flavor seems too bland. It's now the end of December and I'm up to about number 73. I've had fun naming them. It was too confusing to call one "Pink Flower" and then do ten more with pink flowers, so I named them according to what was going on while I was painting. One is called "Tastes Like A Combo" because that's what I was snacking on. One is called "Go Away Kelly So I Can Work" after a friend who wanted to chat all day (she is flattered not offended by the title), and so on. They are all posted on my website and listed on Etsy. Here are a few:

I've tried to line the wall of my studio with them but I have run out of room. I am hoping to find a venue to display a lot of them together.

In the spring and summer I couldn't paint them fast enough, was having so much fun, painted during the day and started new ones at night. The ideas kept coming and coming.

And then Fall approached, and naturally I got busy with holiday shows and commissions for clients. But I realize something else was going on, now that I am looking back. In early Fall, our family had Some Trouble that we have been dealing with since. I wanted to continue the flowers but haven't been able to follow through. I am still painting, but I find my colors darker as I work through this thing. The flower paintings seem too happy and upbeat for my mood. Usually color is the very thing that brings me out from under a grey cloud, and it will eventually, but for now I find the florescent paint too bright, the spontaneity of the flowers too tiring, the wonder of the flowers themselves dulled. I've realized that even my wardrobe has turned to mostly black these days, unless I am with people that I am totally comfortable and confident around, and then my usual bright colors appear. Ever since I presented a "spiritual journey" at my church years ago, and looked at the paintings as a whole, I saw everything I had been experiencing in life, right there on the canvas.  Now I am aware of revealing myself in this way. I may hold my cards close verbally but my emotions are still out there to be seen.

I know this time period will pass. I've been through enough downs and difficulties to know that change is constant and we are always in a sort of transformation. My motto is, "I fall down. I get up." I long ago learned to accept these downturns, learn from them, and wait for the upswing. The last 27 flowers paintings will happen, and then some. Maybe in a week, or it may take a few months. I have no doubt the direction will change, and grow, and transform, but never stay the same. Stay tuned.

Walking In Sunshine

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.

--John Muir

I'm so lucky to have a big dog that needs to be walked several times a day. He usually chooses our route and he is a creature of habit so we frequently end up walking the same path every day.   When we follow our normal route it's interesting to see little changes in the way things look day after day. As February comes to a close, you start to see tiny little buds show up on trees and think, was that there yesterday? Then something green starts to emerge from the ground. It's like the earth gradually starts to wake up after a deep sleep. And makes you realize that even though it looked like nothing was going on in this spot for several months, behind the curtain there was actually a lot of activity. A good life lesson there.

These walks are of course, good for me, and I get a lot of joy seeing how this little thing that we do several times a day makes my dog so very very happy.

One of the best things about these daily walks is the thinking time. I get so many of my ideas when I'm out free from the distractions of my home and electronics (I usually don't bother to take my phone). A few months ago I saw a friend out walking and said, "If you ever want to walk in the morning, let me know," and I respect her enormously because she said, "I really can't. This is when I collect my thoughts for the day." I also appreciate her honesty.

There's a famous quote by Grant Wood, who painted American Gothic, the painting with the farmer and his wife standing with a pitchfork, in front of their farmhouse. He said, "All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow." Without getting into left brain right brain stuff, when your hands and body are busy with routine tasks, your mind is free to think and imagine. Which is why the coloring book craze is so good for us.

Anyway, while walking with Rufus, I have watched spring approach, which is incredibly beautiful in Virginia. Winter seems to hang on a little too long, and the choking heat and humidity of summer still seem a long way off. One by one, pops of color have appeared -- the yellow of daffodils and forsythia, red of flowering quince, purple from grape hyacinths and crocus. This week the tulips are about to explode, and this morning I saw the first iris in full bloom. Artists never tire of flowers because the challenge of matching some of the real life colors is endless. Some colors can ONLY be found in nature, the most astonishing painting of all.

I've been painting flowers for years, sometimes obsessed with color, sometimes obsessed with shape, other times detail.

 Last summer I started some flower paintings exploring a new technique but found them lacking.

 Not really finished, to my eye. The fermenting and percolating in my brain all winter has helped me realize how I wanted them to look, and what I needed to do. During the past few weeks I have been furiously, obsessively experimenting and practicing. So today, April 1 the flowers in the outdoors as well as those created by me, are exploding. I'm starting a new discipline today, 100 Flowers in 100 Days (similar to my Daily Painting practice). It will run April 1 to July 9, I will post a new painting each day on FB and Instagram, and put up on my Etsy site for sale. We'll see where this goes.

These are a few that have been started but by no means finished. Watch what happens!

A Lesson In Flower Arranging

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun.

--PabloPicasso

Whenever I'm at shows or markets, people ask how I make my collages. I know all the rage now is Live Video, but I've not advanced to that as yet, so here is my step-by-step for a piece that I recently finished.

Usually I make collages of animals, which I paint and add paper to. I save a ton of photos and clippings that serve as inspiration, and I had run across a bunch of flower bouquet photos I have and thought I'd take a break from the animals. I reinterpreted one of the bouquets in paper and paint a few months ago. I had gotten good feedback on Instagram which I use as a sort of barometer, so I thought I'd do a few more.  Here is the first one.

So, here's my process:

First, I looked through my color clippings. Whenever I see color combinations I like, I cut out the magazine page, or get a sample of the fabric, or take of photo of the outfit.  I find that if I just make note of the colors I don't remember the precise shades that attracted me. This is a nice combination of pinks, whites, reds, and yellow from a catalog. I love using red and white -- those colors always look classic but also fresh, clean, and energetic. And red and pink is my all time favorite color combination (at least today it is). This is a comforter/duvet cover from the catalog.

Next I found a photo of a flower bouquet that I thought I could recreate using this simple color combination.

 I made a rough sketch in paint to create the composition and make sure the proportions were correct. When I paint in oil, I usually do an underpainting but since most of the canvas will be covered with paper I didn't see the need for this step.  Based on the photo,  I divided the flower parts into the 4 basic colors, deciding that the stems and leaves would be white.  

Next,  I put in a little bit more detail for the flowers to further clarify the shapes and where the colors would go. Whenever I'm teaching drawing and painting I suggest that students concentrate on making shapes instead of trying to capture the actual object they are drawing. With this bouquet of flowers there are lots of roses, peonies, tulips, and ranunculus, all with different leaves and stems -- which can be totally overwhelming to capture on canvas. However, if you look at each part as just a shape (instead of a particular flower), your brain forgets the roses, peonies, and ranunculus, and you make circles, ovals, and lines.

After I got the shapes right, I started to add the paper. I have a HUGE collection of papers, and keep them fairly organized according to color. So I grabbed a stack of pink papers and scraps and started pulling out pieces I wanted to use. Not as simple as it sounds --  I have particular shades of pink in my head; a soft medium bubble gum pink for the background -- in paint, and a fuschia hot pink for flower parts.

I finished off with the papers, including the whites and creams for the leaves and stems.

To finish and pull together each flower, I add another layer of paint, outlining the shapes.  I then added a really basic vase in a great neon pink, and added a yellow table (including a shadow using yellow paper), as well as yellow centers to the flowers. You can see how this paint step really differentiates the flowers and stems from one another and pulls the piece together. 

I usually come back a day or so later to look at the piece with fresh eyes and decide if I need to make any changes. If it's done, I cover the canvas with a water based varnish to make sure the paper doesn't start to come unglued later or tear, as well as give the painting a glossy finish.  Voila.