Everything you can imagine is real.
Today I'm going to the funeral of my childhood best friend's mother, who I always thought of as my second mother. She was only 71 and had suffered from Alzheimer's disease for about 10 years, although it started coming on slowly well before that. She had wasted away to about 90 pounds as her body had sort of forgotten how to swallow, so eating was minimal. I understand that there is legislation in the works to allow those who have just gotten diagnosed with this disease to exit early and gracefully. Alzheimer's is getting a lot of attention lately because it seems to be more prevalent -- but maybe more doctors now know how to label it, and people are living for so much longer dementia comes on more often. Regardless, it is cruel and causes so much suffering -- primarily for the caretakers and family. It is also difficult to be an heir to the affected (ie my childhood best friend) as it so often has genetic ramifications.
I'm more aware than most because I've watched someone I was close to, and her family, suffer for years, but also because I teach art to dementia patients. They do not all have Alzheimer's, but also have other forms of dementia. I love my job although it is often filled with sadness. Fall of 2014 was especially difficult as 5 of the women I had taught for a few years passed away. Each day I go to work I ride up an elevator where signs are posted announcing Memorial Services for those who have just died. But when I get overwhelmed by death I think of a favorite quote by C.S. Lewis: "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."
Strangely -- this has happened several times in the 3 years I've been there -- an entire group I teach will suddenly drop in their ability levels, and the lessons I teach have to change dramatically. Others that work there also notice the changes. One day things will be sort of off and stirred up and we will attribute it to a full moon (seriously) or an event the night before that kept the residents up late. But when the strangeness continues and the whole group is affected it is eerie-weird. I attribute it to the same thing that happens when women live together, for instance in dorms, and their cycles get synced together.
Recent days have felt very strange. Although Alzheimer's is nothing to poke fun at, I think of that Jimmy Buffet song where he says "if I didn't laugh I'd just go insane", because we have had a few giggles lately. This was a recent conversation:
An admin assistant walked by our group wearing a black jumper.
Ms. J turned to me and said, (pointing to the girl in the jumper): "We have to get ready for our skit. There goes the one who's going to play George Mason."
Me: (I always go along with whatever they're talking about), "What parts do we still need to fill?"
Ms J: "We have to find someone to play Jefferson."
Me: (looking at another resident, on the plump side, dozing in a chair nearby). "I see the perfect Martha Washington!"
Ms J: "We've got to hurry and finish the skit, finish assigning the parts."
And a day last week while making Valentines:
Me: "I think you should give that Valentine to Leo. Write on it, 'To Leo'. "
Ms. D: "There are 2 Leos?"
Then she said, "Don't get glue on my testicles."
I was told the same woman was taken out to lunch the previous day and ordered a hotdog.
Her caregiver: "Do you want ketchup?"
Ms. D: "On my bra?"
Yep, growing old ain't for sissies.
